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Clandestine relationships or regular hookups with one straight and one gay/bi guy sometimes exist in a mutual state of insecurity and fear. It depends how things play out, whether it’s out in the open or “our little secret”. But what does it mean for those guys who do embrace their label but have sex with guys who don’t? Does it mean their lovers are any less available to them because they won’t pick a side? Of course, nobody needs a label, but for gay and bi guys who worked hard to establish their identity, how does it feel when the man they’re sleeping with won’t do the same? So, it is a win-win for both.If you’re a man who has sex with men on occasion, but identify as straight, who’s to stop you? You are who you are. Gay men find themselves appreciated and rooted deeper with such secure straight women friendships. Women in such friendships tend to have a better positive body image and feel more secure and more appreciated for their personality. Studies reveal that both straight women and gay men rate their friendships with each other as very meaningful and deep. Of course, a new trend is the occasional ‘bromosexuals’ but more on that in another piece! Second, gay men find they get excellent relationship advice from women, who know men well and are not competing for the same guys. This is because men – especially when part of groups as they often are - fear their masculinity may be questioned if they have a close gay friend.
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There is a lot of tension in such power dynamics!”Īnother reason for these interesting ‘non’ bedfellows is of course the fact that gay men have fewer straight male friends. Straight men either want to sexualize women they find attractive (in which case they mostly only view them with a sexual lens rather than an intellectual one) or discard them completely if they don’t find her attractive (in which case the woman has to go over and above an average man to prove her intelligence and worth by being extraordinary). And very often, it is! Says a young woman corporate employee, “There is a certain power dynamic with straight men that women don’t experience with gay men. And so, women are always wary of their friendliness being misinterpreted as flirtation or sexual interest. Most women believe that heterosexual men are attracted to all women in varying degrees, and look at them as potential mates. He argues that straight women trust gay men more “due to the absence of deceptive mating motivations that frequently taint their relationships with straight men (sexual interest) and other straight women (mate competition).”Ī woman engages more openly and intimately with a gay man because she can totally be herself - laugh out loud, look him straight in the eye, share some poetry and say just about anything with no fear that he may misinterpret a smile, a laugh, or a shared joke for anything but what it is. Psychologist Eric Russell of Texas Christian University claims that the age-old relationship between the homosexual male and the heterosexual female serves a biologically adaptive function. Fourth, a woman hanging out with a gay friend – whether both are single, married or in a partnership – is not judged as she may be when she hangs out with a straight man. In fact, studies show that women prefer hiring gay men over straight men. Third, since gay men have no qualms giving in to their feminine side – as opposed to straight men who are rigidly macho – it is easier for women to connect on several more levels.
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Even better, this man and this woman are not competing for the same men. Second, a woman feels safer, knowing for sure she is not being targeted or wooed. Why is that so? For one, with a gay man there are no taboo subjects or fear of being misunderstood.
#HANDSOME GAY MEN AMKING LOVE SERIES#
Movies, books and web series – not to forget real life - are replete with instances of deep and close friendships between straight women and gay men. However, gay men are often the best friends a woman can find. Truly comfortably platonic friendships that are without undercurrents are rare between the two sexes.
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Both are either trying to convey a sexual interest or trying to gauge if the other side has any - or even trying hard to establish that there is none. An ambiguous, awkward sexual tension that underlies such interactions.
#HANDSOME GAY MEN AMKING LOVE FREE#
Free of sexual tensions and mate-competitive behaviour, straight women and gay men are the greatest mates ever!Īdmit it or not, but whenever a man and woman interact, there is a frisson of awareness between them.